Christmas Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz Mural video

It is drizzling here in Santa Cruz and the temperature feels like its around the 50's. The weather this December has been alternating between warmth and sunshine with temps in the 60's and cold and rainy, with temps in the low 50's. This was a good day to hang out in the bookstore and play on the computer while sipping on a Thomas Kemper root beer. I found an interesting looking vegan chicken sandwich at New Leaf grocery just down the block and had that with it. I worked on a video of one of the many neat building murals you tend to see around here and in San Jose and San Francisco.

I was talking with Robert last night before we started watching Deliverance in the car, and we agreed it just didn't feel like Christmas. Minimal decorations, very little music in the stores, very little Christmas spirit. I suggested that it might be a bigger deal for people with small children and more might be going on in the way of holiday spirit in schools and churches. Then again, it could just be a sign of the times.

They gave out free samples today of both cookies and a flavored coffee at the cafe in Borders downtown. Now there's some holiday spirit!  While munching on these goodies I processed this video clip of a wall mural on a business building in Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz Stoves and Fireplaces.  I don't think anything rivals San Francisco and Santa Cruz for paintings you'll find on the cityscape.  I especially love it when things that are particularly ugly become a canvas for something rather pleasant, or at least entertaining.

Mindbending Meditation

I'm two days out now from serving at the meditation retreat. I attended the retreat as a volunteer--"server"-- in the kitchen. Although I did not attend as a student, the volunteer kitchen help was still required to meditate. We meditated three times daily for one hour each time.

After going almost one complete year without formally meditating, sitting felt like taking a long drink from a fresh water well. I had missed it.

Having returned to Santa Cruz, I'm still feeling a little loopy, but slowly I'm decompressing. The meditation retreats always do that to me, especially the Goenka ones. I did not participate in the rigorous ten hour a day training, but still I feel like I've gone through minor brain surgery.

It has been one year since I was first introduced to Goenka's Vipassana meditation technique. But even volunteering to prepare meals for the participants is an experience that deepens ones practice, deepens the effects of the technique.

Sitting in the backseat of Kiran's car, once again driving through the lovely hills of the lower Silicon Valley, I definitely felt stoned. Yes, that is exactly how I felt, like everything I saw out my window, the buildings passing by me, seemed distant and very quiet.

During the last two days, I debated whether to stay for the additional three day work shift at the center. I could feel the intentions of those around me, to entice me, or coax me, or invite me to stay. But I was ready to leave. The restrictions of all those rules, the discipline of the meditation, and the stress of trying to get along with my fellow kitchen workers made we want to leave the place, for a short time anyway. Indeed, once in the car I thought about Albert Einstein and what he said after leaving California, working for a time at the California Institute of Technology, "I've been loafing in Paradise."

In a way, the Vipassana center was a paradise, at least my version of what paradise would be like--a place where every one meditates, no one talks, and each human is on a spiritual quest.

During this stay, my commitment to the technique as well as my practice became more firmly established. There was no doubt that I would one day go back, and that I would not ever leave the path.

But on the last day, I also thought, "I would really like to get out of here and Play...would like to watch a Netflix movie, and get on my computer and play Plants vs Zombies, and stop being super nice to everybody.

Sitting in the back seat of the car going back to San Jose, I began to get motion sick. Kiran's car had a lot of vibration in the back. I was getting nauseated and having a hot spell, wanted to roll down the window for cool air, and to sleep.

While looking out the window I contemplated on the distant feeling I had about all that my eyes saw while scanning the beautiful countryside. I recalled the "stoniness" I felt for about 30 hours after I saw Emptiness back in Iowa City. Chotak had led a guided meditation for the folks at Jalandara and I had fell into the deepest meditation ever. During that teaching I had fallen into the sky and later came up panting hard as if my breathing had been suspended for a time.

The next day, at the morning lecture, Chotak's voice seemed far away. He held up a pen and continued discussing the emptiness of objects. Then he looked directly at me and said, we all see the same thing, don't we Molaan? I was unable to answer that question and said to myself, I don't see anything. But to him, I mumbled, "Could very well be."

And so, I had for a brief 24 hour period seen the emptiness of all objects. And then it ended.

This time, using the method by Master Goenka, I noticed a similarity in feeling. Similar, yet different. Sitting in the back seat looking out the window, watching the street signs, and towns, cars, and businesses go by, listening to Kiran and his friend talk in Hindi, I realized what was different. Whereas, with Chotak, for a short time, I could not recognize the objects I looked at. This time, I recognized all that I saw but felt nothing. It was I who was empty.

San Jose foothills

Both Rich and I love the eastern hills of San Jose. Yesterday, he showed me a childhood house that he lived in, located right along the foot of one of the hills. While living there, he could peer out of his upstairs bedroom window and view the green-brown hills.

The founder of MacIntosh, Steve Jobs, once visited one of Rich's neighbors and told him about a great idea he had. He asked the neighbor if he wanted to go in on him--invest some money in this new business, but the neighbor backed out explaining that he was "fully committed."

This is one of the reasons I love living here in Silicon Valley. It's teaming with brilliant minds and forward thinking individuals and I'm hoping some of it can rub off on me.

Returning to Santa Cruz

I'm back in Santa Cruz after being gone for two months. I like the fact that I know my way around and that I have some friends here now. I got off the bus in the early evening and cast about for something fun to do. Nurey had introduced me to an arts movie theater off of Pacific Avenue, the Rio Theater, and that is where I ended up. I splurged almost all my money but did not regret it!
----

Last night in Santa Cruz
I completely lost the blues
when I spent my last ten spot
on a movie seat I bought.

For a movie called Howl
about a poet named Al,
who talked about his poetry
and his homosexuality,

But he really blew my mind
with his poem called Holy Holy!

----

Returning to the Midwest

I arrived at my hometown of Des Moines, Iowa in late August, in plenty of time for my birthday. I considered the visit a sort of birthday present. I have gotten a bit more re-acquainted with Mom and Curt. The previous short stays never seemed to allow me to do that. It's been nice.

Yesterday, I watched the University of Iowa Hawkeyes give Iowa State University a sound drubbing on the football field. As a UI alumnus, I found this to be quite gratifying despite the fact that practically all of my nieces and nephews went to Iowa State!

After scanning some more of Mom's old photos, I made another family video.

No more cruising in the Cruz

Alas, my car goes on the auction block in exactly two weeks. It appears my car karma is not one to brag about. After numerous attempts to prevent me from initially registering my car in California, the powers that be have succeeded in yanking my car from me. At the moment, I am job-less, car-less, and money-less in Santa Cruz. I guess the only saving grace is that I am not friend-less or food-less. The bit of luck I had yesterday and a good night's rest in a motel have boosted my spirits. I also spent the morning calling friends, eating the complimentary breakfast, dabbing calamine on my sores. I feel fairly happy and looking forward to future adventures.

Eating at McDonalds in Sunnyvale

Sunnyvale which is the home of Yahoo's central campus is part of SILICON VALLEY. Therefore one is not surprised to see that one can find free WIFI at the McDonald's in Sunnyvale. I guess I should be a bit embarrassed about admitting I go to McDonalds as it is probably politically incorrect, unhealthy, and quite jejune. However I did, just today, eat a salad and chocolate chip cookie that I purchased there. One cannot deny that when one is on a very tight budget, there are few places that can beat McDonald's for thriftiness. There dollar menu has saved my ass, err, sad stomach on several occasions. They have added a humongous ICE TEA and a chocolate sundae to their dollar menu. Not on their dollar menu, but especially delightful if you are demoralized, is there three cookies for $1 that you can buy. So, today, since the sprouts I started two days ago are just beginning to bud, I was forced to resort to restaurant food for sustenance. I did not feel the least oppressed by the two dollar lunch that I had, which included two slices of yesterday's pizza from Little Caesar's in Santa Cruz (only $3.99 for a large on Wednesday's.), the side salad, iced tea, and one of my three chocolate chip cookies. I call this a pleasant balance of healthy, semi-healthy, and bad-but-fun meal food.

Santa Cruz Public Library

I found a great, easy to read biography about Albert Einstein in the library. Finding biographical books has always been challenging for me because I often find them more detailed than I want. I found this book at the Live Oak branch of the Santa Cruz Public libraries. It's not that I generally peruse the books in the juvenile area; I was in fact sticking new barcodes on a set of books working as a volunteer when I came upon the book.

Live Oak is a really beautiful library located along the water's edge in Santa Cruz. They are going through the process of barcoding their books so they can install self-checkout machines.

The Bagelry, Santa Cruz, California

I am here at a place called The Bagelry in Santa Cruz, California, USA, Planet Earth. I will rate this little eatery, located on the edge of the downtown area, according to a hodgepodge of criteria as they occur to me.

My first request was for a Bathroom, and despite the fact there is none in sight, the young woman behind the counter directed me to a door leading to the kitchen area. After a couple of turns in the bowels of the back room, I came upon two roomy, clean individual restrooms each labeled with a Unisex placard. In Santa Cruz, any establishment with a Bathroom the customers are allowed to use, is worth two points in my book.

Anyways, so goes First Impressions. More importantly, The Bagelry has a scrumptous menu of things I've not seen in any of the other bagel shops, cafes, or coffeehouses I've been haunting. At this moment, I am munching on "The Cruz," a whole wheat bagel covered with hummus, tomato, and a ton of sprouts. When I asked for a garlic bagel, they gave me a choice of white or whole wheat. This, along with one of my favorite refreshments, Sobe's Elixer, (containing carrot juice and orange juice), made my day.

Although, I was not pleased at standing in front of the counter for five minutes unacknowledged, when I finally did get waited on the young bagel woman behind the counter was quite pleasant, lacking any of the superficiality required of public service. When I inquired about the "Tofu Tom" spread, she gave me a sample taste on a plastic spoon.

Unlike many places I have visited, The Bagelry does not feel claustrophobic. Their eating area is circumscribed by one long circular church-like pew with square tables pushed up again them. Seven tables form the perimeter and two tables sit in the center. The tables I noted were just a tad bit larger than average which I appreciated since I am usually hauling my backpack and like to spread out to read or write in my journal.

I was a bit dismayed that The Bagelry had no ice machine so my request for a cup of ice was denied. They evidently are more accustomed to their customers imbibing in warm beverages and swilling the cooler items directly from the bottle. The bagel lady was a bit reluctant to give me a cup for my drink and I thought perhaps she had mistakenly thought I asked for for table flowers and a lit candelabra.


The Bagelry like many places in Santa Cruz offers free wireless access to the Internet, but there was only one outlet in the whole eating area. One has to depend on a good laptop battery which I did not have.

Although I do not find it particularly pleasant to be sitting beside loud, screaming kids when I am writing or reading and sipping on coffee in the early morning hours, The Bagelry was definitely kid-friendly. As I was scanning the restaurant with my eyes, since my mouth was enjoying the scrumptious bagel sandwich, I noted a stack of sturdy, wooden high chairs for kids. They, along with the built-in shelves used to house alternative magazines and brochures, appeared quite solid, simple, and functional.

The clientele in the The Bagelry Santa Cruz consists of an older, alternative, hip crowd. The magazine rack and bulletin board offered an array of announcements and information about musical venues, poetry readings, and other art events in the Santa Cruz area.

Overall, I liked The Bagelry's menu and magazine rack, and bulletin board. But I do not now if I will go there often because of the lack of electrical outlets to plug into and a subtle coolness that excludes those who are not the regulars.

Santa Cruz - Peet's Coffee & Tea

I am still haunting the coffee shops because they are the only thing open at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning. I do not come to this Peet's very often because it is small and because I do not have a card that will let me add value to it like Starbuck's does.

Today's experience did not start off well since I was told that the complimentary free coffee coupon someone gave me was only good for $1.65 off of a cup of coffee. This was a significant disappointment since I was expecting the $5 value that I received from the free coupon from Seatle's Best Coffee. I spent a few minutes quarreling with the woman barista pointing out that the card distinctly says ENJOY A COMPLIMENTARY COFFEE OR TEA. Miffed, I ordered a glass of milk.

Peet's offers wireless the same as the other downtown coffeehouses here in Santa Cruz. They issue you a cash register receipt with a pass code good for one hour on the Net. Despite my upset at the chintziness of their coupons and internet access--Starbucks allows you two hours, and Seattle's Best and Santa Cruz Roasting unlimited time--my fury is abating as I think of the good things about the place.

Ahmed said that Peets first opened in Berkeley. It has always been a competitive alternative to Starbucks. It is socially aware and earth-conscious as a business, and it was one of the sponsors of the the Cinequest Film Festival that I volunteered at this year. Furthermore, as I deliberate a little more, I realize that perhaps our country is in an economic shambles because too many businesses promised outrageous perks that they could not really afford and thus went into bankruptcy, or caused others to over extend themselves.

Offering one hour of Internet access when you have seating for six at a counter, and maybe a dozen more at the tables, is not that unreasonable.

As for my personal situation, homeless, jobless, but free as a bird, I am still looking for the perfect hangout. Maybe there is not one perfect one. Together, in combination, the bistros, bookstores, cinemas, cafes, and libraries in Santa Cruz offer much of what I need.